Podcast Transcripts

Episode 24. Communicationship

Good morning and welcome to your twenty-fourth meditation. Perhaps you’ve heard it said that good relationships are founded on good communication. Communicating is quite literally how we relate to one another, hence no communication, no relationship. The whole enterprise could just as easily be called a communicationship. This may all seem rather obvious to you, and yet we tend to struggle to effectively communicate in our relationships all the time. Sometimes it’s a problem of not being able to articulate what we would like to say, sometimes it’s a problem of using the wrong tone when saying it, sometimes it’s a matter of timing – saying the right thing, but at the wrong time, and sometimes what is being communicated hasn’t been thought through enough and it is simply an issue of saying the wrong thing. And just as often the blockage is on the receiving end of an instance of attempted communication. We tend to think of listening as a passive activity, however it takes a lot of work to be a good listener and so complete the communicative exchange. This work entails tempering our defensiveness and vanity; practising patience – patience to hear the other person out, and also patience to process what you are hearing before reacting to it; practising empathy or trying to understand why the other person might feel the way they feel, and doing your best to create an environment where the other person feels comfortable saying whatever it is they need to say.

So how do we apply all these principles in a relationship? A good place to start is this very idea of need. What do you need from your partner or family member or colleague? What do they require of you? What is most important to you in a relationship and what won’t you tolerate. Establish your own answers to these questions by yourself before even engaging in a discussion with the other person. This will help you state your needs clearly when it comes time to communicate them, and minimize the possibility of being misunderstood. Ask them what their needs are. Give them as much time as they require to answer this question. If they struggle to reply, try asking more specific prompting questions that might feel less abstract to them. If they become defensive or angry or uncomfortable, give them space. As necessary as communication may be in a relationship, forcing it will often backfire and so close certain pathways that may have previously been available to you.

With so many aspects to consider, it’s no surprise that successful communication in relationships can be difficult to achieve. However if you regularly take the time to try to understand your partner’s needs as well as your own; if you constantly remind yourself to be sensitive, empathic, and patient; and if you’re willing to be vulnerable, trusting the legitimacy of your own feelings while also trusting the other person to handle your confidences with care, then you will find that you are able to connect to people with a depth that you may not have known existed, and therein derive one of the richest joys available to us humans. Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode 23: Know the Limits of Your Judgment

Good morning and welcome to your twenty-third meditation. Would you consider yourself a judgmental person? Making judgments is an important part of the way that we form our identities. We decide what we like and don’t like, what is good and bad, what is meaningful and not through the complex churn of experience; our traumas and our joys, our family histories, and everything we read and watch and consume. Your judgment is the expression of your individual system of morality. And so it is an expression of your humanity – because what could be more uniquely human than the ability to moralize? So, as you might guess, judgment is important. And although the word “judgmental” tends to get a bad wrap these days, we should be careful about maligning the concept of judgment to the point where we feel ashamed to judge. Not only would an attempt to stop all judgment in us be futile since it is such a fundamental part of what it means to be human, it would be unhealthy and self-destructive. Instead of denying your judgements, try acknowledging them and respecting them for what they are: an expression of who you are and what you believe. Equally important, however, is to acknowledge that both you and your judgments are extremely limited. However well-reasoned your moral arguments are, however broad and deep your experiences, your point of view is merely one drop in an ocean of points-of-view, each founded on a different set of criteria. This means that each judgment we make should be scrupulously examined since it is at least as likely that it comes from a place of ignorance as it is that it comes from a place of knowledge. But it also means that there is always infinite opportunity to learn from others and expand the scope of our judgment, borrowing from their experience to inform our own moral make-up. So the next time you find yourself judging as bad a song, an artwork, a fashion, a behaviour, or anything else first acknowledge this feeling. It is valuable and important and only by acknowledging it can you ultimately know what you later do with it. Next, consider what value that which you’re judging may have for another person. Here it can help to ask other people’s opinions about things to get a better idea of why they may like something that you do not. And lastly, open yourself up to that perspective and see if you can identify with it. Worst case scenario you feel affirmed in your original judgment, best case you learn how to derive joy from something you never imagined you could. Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode 22: Observe What You Fear

Good morning and welcome to your twenty-second meditation. What are you afraid of? We all have one or many answers to this question. Fear is part of being human. But very often our fears are baseless or irrational or radically exaggerated. These are what we know as phobias. Some common ones include fear of heights (or acrophobia), fear of flying (or aviophobio), fear of snakes (ophidiophobia), fear of spiders (arachnophobia), and fear of close spaces (claustrophobia). The odds are that the majority of us experiences at least one of these phobias to some degree. And their effects can range from discomforting to incapacitating, even when we acknowledge openly that they are irrational. So what should we do about it? How can we work toward dispelling these imaginary monsters, or, failing that, how can we make their effects on us less debilitating? A good place to start is to acknowledge how truly common it is to experience these fears. It would seem there’s something in the human condition that makes us prone to them. So don’t worry: you’re not alone, it’s not madness, and it’s perfectly natural to feel that way. Second, you may have heard of something called exposure therapy, where you deliberately confront the stimulus that incites your fear, thereby availing yourself of the opportunity to change how you respond to it. This can be done by degrees. For example, if you are afraid of snakes, start by thinking about snakes, next watch videos of snakes, and so on, all the while training your response to those largely innocent victims of social demonization.

“Ok”, you may be asking, “but how do I train my response?” If you experience severe symptoms as a result of your phobia you should certainly talk with a specialist if that is an option that is available to you, but here are a couple suggestions and an anecdote that may help. Breathe. Deep slow breaths. This has the effect of both slowing your heart rate and providing us with something to focus on that is not your fear. Once you have calmed yourself, think about the thing you fear. Have a good look at it. Turn it over in your mind and imagine it as something completely indifferent to you, unconnected to and distant from you. Listen to it. Hear what it has to say. Admire it, even. There is a story about a man who didn’t even realize he was claustrophobic until he was put head-first in an MRI machine. The close space, the mechanical sounds, and the thought of the weight of the machinery on top of him made him feel suddenly trapped, and as though he would be crushed. His heart-rate shot up, he started sweating, he thought he might involuntarily begin to flail, all the while knowing this was a routine procedure and totally safe. In the midst of his panic, however, he became determined to beat it. He closed his eyes. He began breathing deeply through his nose. And he began to listen. Those mechanical sounds that seemed so threatening before started to form interesting sonic shapes. He listened more closely. What had been a robotic death knell just a moment before, was now beautiful and intriguing music. Far from inducing anxiety, it calmed him, even to the point of lulling him to sleep. Exactly the same set of stimuli, two diametrically opposed responses within a matter of minutes. So try it! Welcome whatever it is you fear. Observe it. Listen to it. Not only might you ultimately conquer your fear, you might discover a whole new genre of music while you’re at it. Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode 21: Making Mistakes

Good morning and welcome to your twenty-first meditation. How do you respond to the mistakes that you make? Do they frustrate you? Do you get angry and punish yourself? Do you regret having made them? All of these reactions are perfectly normal, but guess what? These types of reactions are mistakes in themselves. But don’t worry! The whole purpose of today’s meditation is to remind you of an idea that is oddly overlooked in our increasingly fast-paced and demanding world: Mistakes are good! Sometimes we hear that it’s ok to make mistakes, as if they were a disagreeable, but ultimately inevitable part of the human experience, and so must be tolerated. But this attitude fails to see how much can be gained by making them and how much can be missed by avoiding them.

So why are mistakes so great? Mistakes help us to learn. And even if they make you uncomfortable or embarrassed, angry or frustrated, you can learn from that too! In fact, sometimes it is just these unpleasant feelings aroused in us that act as the engine for learning. For example, it is very common for adults who are learning a second language to be shy about speaking. They are afraid that they will embarrass themselves by speaking poorly, and so decline to say anything at all. And yet it is exactly those moments that you make the biggest fool of yourself that you remember best. The more people that laugh at your faux pas, the more likely you are to remember that mistake and be sure to avoid it in the future. And perhaps they don’t laugh, but instead correct you. Thanks to your courage to make that mistake you have now earned yourself a free language lesson. Now imagine a scenario where you don’t speak. You will have missed out on those excellent opportunities to improve. And for what? Pride?

And this principle of mistakes opening the door to learning is not unique to language acquisition. It translates neatly into your native tongue as well. Those moments when we feel that we have asked a stupid question; when we’ve accidentally said something untoward; when we’ve opened ourselves up to criticism and been pilloried. We remember these moments and we learn from them. And this is how we improve. Of course, this is not an endorsement of reckless or careless behaviour. There is such a thing as harmful mistakes and, although even they can be excellent teachers, it is all of our responsibility to do our best to avoid them. This is about mistakes made in good faith; in the interest of stretching yourself; of personal growth; of trying to be better. So go ahead and put your pride on the line. It’s a more fun and exciting way to live, and what you stand to gain is far more valuable than whatever you feel you may be sacrificing. Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode: 20 Talking to Strangers

Good morning and welcome to your twentieth meditation. How often do you talk to strangers? Beyond simple practical transactional conversations. More likely than not your answer is seldom. We live in a moment that tends to view the individual as the most important social unit, followed closely by the family. Both concepts – individual and family – probably evoke a fairly clear and distinct set of images and ideas for you. The community, however, is likely a hazier concept. Where we may have a perfectly good idea of what our responsibilities towards ourselves and our families are, we may be a little nonplussed about how to define our relationship with our communities. Even our duties toward our nation, a much broader concept that usually encompasses a far greater number of people you’ve never met and vast swathes of land that you’ve never visited, often seem better defined than the responsibilities we have toward the people who occupy the same neighbourhood as us and whom we pass in the streets every day. It’s easy to become so preoccupied with our individual or family concerns that we simply don’t have the leftover bandwidth to care about or engage with people we don’t know. So we block them out. Assume an indifferent attitude toward them. View them more as obstacles through which we have to navigate than as the people that they are with their own complex histories and emotional worlds, no less rich than our own. Not only can engaging with these people offer all kinds of new perspectives, it also can offer a real feeling of belonging, both for you and for them. When you open up to the world around you, it opens up to you, invites you in, and makes you feel at home within it. And moreover, practising being open to these moments of connection can also help you learn to be a more open person in general, with a greater ability to go with the flow, adapt to certain situations, and to improvise.

Of course, you can’t engage with every person you see on the street. None of us has time for that, and most people will not be particularly amenable to your indiscriminate engagement. But perhaps you are waiting in line and you, in an unobtrusive way, commiserate about the wait time with your fellow queuers. Perhaps you cheer someone on whom you see doing something remarkable. Or perhaps you simply offer a friendly smile to the person passing you on the sidewalk. These are just a few of the infinite ways you can connect with the people around you. And who knows, if you offer the world friendliness, you just might make some new friends. Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode: 19 Rejection? Or Expression?

Good morning and welcome to your nineteenth meditation. How well do you think you take rejection? Does it hurt or are you inured to it? Do you crumple or does it only make you try harder to get what you’re after? Maybe being rejected makes you feel like you have suffered an injustice; you become bitter and resentful. But perhaps it makes you consider how you might improve; or it inspires you to alter your approach, or even to move the goal posts altogether. Being rejected is a an interesting phenomenon in that, although it seems like something we would generally want to avoid, it tends to be the direct outcome of pursuing our passions – an activity that we are constantly reminded that we need to do. Just do it, go after it, what is there to lose?, you only live once – if our friends and family fail to hurl these messages at us regularly then we can certainly rely on Hollywood movies and advertising to bombard us with them all the time. What tends to get discussed less is what happens when your dreams bump up against someone else’s and these two sets of dreams are incompatible. Because this is effectively what rejection is, isn’t it. You can take all the right steps to achieve a goal, you can tick all the boxes, but there will always be someone who doesn’t like what you’ve done for reasons that correspond to their own goals or ideals. And this is the trick to learning how to deal with rejection. To understand that on the other end of any rejection is another person or group of people who have their own tastes and desires that happen not to align with yours is to understand that that rejection is not a determination of your objective value, but a ruling on what they value. It kind of has nothing to do with you. It is an expression of someone else’s will, which is just as important as yours and should be respected. Perhaps this strikes you as an overly altruistic or selfless approach to living. You may say to yourself, “I’m all for respecting people, but I need to look after myself first, and I can’t be bothered with the desires of others if they interfere with me achieving my goals”. But the truth is that this method of acknowledging the perspective of the rejecting party does serve you. Firstly, it can allow you to see yourself how they see you, and so help you to know how to improve. And, perhaps more profoundly, understanding that rejection is never the whole world passing judgment on your merit, but an expression of one or a few subjective wills, helps you see that your rejection often does not represent a failing in you. How can you view as failure that in you which one person despises for the exact same reasons that another person adores you. And thank goodness people’s tastes and desires are so varied. The more that is true, the more opportunity there will be for all of us. So hey, sometimes you’re not right for the part. No problem. You’re likely perfect for another one. And the more you try your best the more you’ll see where you do fit in. So keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode 18: Make Space for Space

Good morning and welcome to your eighteenth meditation. Do you ever think about space? No, not that extra room you wish you had in your home to store stuff, but the incomprehensible vastness of outer space. You may be thinking, “isn’t there enough to worry about right here on Earth? Why should I spend my time contemplating what I don’t understand and what doesn’t affect me?”. The scope and foreignness of space may indeed make it difficult for us to grasp, but believe what we may, we are most certainly affected by the goings-on of the great expanse beyond our globe. It can be easy to think of our planet as a self-contained world that generates everything we require for life all by itself. But think for a moment more and you realize that of course this is an illusion. The sun provides us with light and heat, and Earth’s distance from it means that we receive those indispensable gifts in just the right proportion. Its light allows the plants that we require for food and medicine and timber to grow. The gravitational pull of the sun and moon are responsible for the tides in our oceans, which in turn affect weather and the habitability of Earth’s climate. And if you want to know what kind of impact a stray celestial body can make, just ask the dinosaurs. So yes, outer space affects us. But what good is it to ponder? To start, thinking about space is a good way to put things into perspective. Perhaps the importance of that argument about politics that you had with your family member that got you both so heated can dwindle a little when held up against the immensity of the cosmos. Perhaps thinking about space can help us to think about Earth a whole, as it appears in the photographs we’ve all seen that were taken from beyond our protective stratosphere. It can help us to see every inhabitant of Earth as related to ourselves, all of us sharing a home, regardless of the imaginary borderlines of nations. It can help us appreciate the paradise that our planet truly is, and as a result help us to respect it and cherish it. And finally, it can inspire you to think on the infinite number of variables that led to our planet being so perfectly suited to harbour life, to consider the lucky miracle of life appearing on the globe once conditions were right, and all of the incredible steps that have since taken place that led to you standing here now, listening to this. It is overwhelming. Beautiful and impossible. And yet, here you are. Living. What unfathomable luck! What an improbable gift! What should one do with such a rare opportunity? However you answer that question, double-check to ensure that you are doing it! Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode 17: Understanding Debate

Good morning and welcome to your seventeenth meditation. Has anyone you love ever expressed views that are anathema to you? Views that run contrary to what you understand to be your most basic moral principals? Perhaps we’ve all experienced the beer-emboldened uncle who lets slip some joke in poor taste over a family dinner. This can be uncomfortable and upsetting, especially if others who are present encourage the bad behaviour. But what if it is your parent, or a sibling, or a son or a daughter, or a close friend who holds these problematic views? And what if the joke is a fully fleshed-out belief system that is so deeply ingrained that they regard it as a fundamental piece of their identity. It can be difficult to know how to respond to either situation. But if this is someone you love, someone you care about, with whom you share a relationship that you value, the first step is to try to stay calm. Sometimes our loved ones say and believe things that are so upsetting to us that it’s difficult not to lash out; to become angry and belligerent. But you probably already know that this kind of aggression only tends to separate people further, lessening the potential for any kind of mutual understanding and empathy. Next, be careful not to be dismissive of your loved one. Whatever path they took to arrive at the views they now hold, it was a human walking those steps all the way, and it is a human before you now, replete with their sensitivities, and defensiveness, and fallibility, just as you are. And remember that you are indeed fallible; and that it is impossible to know the whole truth about anything. Remember that we all have certain biases that guide the opinions we formulate and the information we seek out. And remember that, increasingly, the information we seek out tends to confirm the biases we already hold. This is true for you just as much as it is true for the person with whom you disagree. Only once you have taken all these steps to be a generous and sensitive interlocutor should you try to state straight-fowardly and undramatically how your loved one’s views make you feel. It is unlikely that throwing facts at them will help anything, at least at first. We’ve seen throughout history that belief systems tend not to be based on facts, but on feelings about what constitutes right and wrong. So appeal to that most human side of them. Tell them genuinely that you love them. And remember that saying “I love you, but (…)” is not a genuine profession of love. Never say “I love you, but (…)”. It will always sound patronizing, and, perhaps unsurprisingly, being patronizing is another thing you will want to avoid. Lastly, don’t expect immediate conversion. There may not be any conversion at all, and that is fine. We all couldn’t possibly agree about everything, and surrounding ourselves with people who hold different views than our own can help us to remain open-minded. So even if you can’t finally agree, perhaps through open dialogue, love, and respect, you can achieve a state of mutual understanding. And if not, it may be time to re-evaluate that relationship. Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode 16: The Art of Adaptability

Good morning and welcome to your sixteenth meditation. On a scale of one to ten, how adaptable do you believe yourself to be? Over the past year, around the globe, we have all been forced to adapt, in one way or another, to a new reality. For the more retiring among us, perhaps these changes have been small. But many of us have been confronted with drastic alterations, having to adjust to a life absent the careers to which we had spent years dedicating our energies, absent the means to support ourselves and our loved ones, and, worst of all, absent those loved ones themselves. How can one go on in the face of such overwhelming loss? The answer, simply put, is that one must adapt. Having invested so much in your old reality, having cherished it and the people who populated it, it can seem impossible to accept its replacement by a new one. But however painful the loss you have experienced may be, you must welcome your new reality and embrace it. Remember that to welcome a new reality does not mean that you forget or reject the old one. The loss of what you once had will comprise an important element of your new life. And it is just as crucial to your continued health that you welcome your memories of your past into whatever new configuration of life you make for yourself as it is that you welcome that which is novel. Notice that the ideas of welcoming, embracing, and making your new reality are all active formulations, which put you in the driver’s seat. As much as none of us would choose to lose our jobs or our loved ones, what we do when confronted with that misfortune is up to us. And the more we think about misfortunes as happening to us, the more we disempower ourselves and rob ourselves of the agency required to heal. Beginning with our birth, the world loves to throw things at us that we didn’t choose and over which we have no control. What we can control is how we mould whatever raw material is handed us into our own reality. This process of moulding is adaptability itself, and it is absolutely essential in a world that, as we’ve all seen, can be highly unpredictable.

You may ask, “if the world is so changeable, and if adaptability is so important, why set down roots at all? Why dedicate oneself to a career that may suddenly become irrelevant? Why love someone who will inevitably die?” But to ask this question is to miss the point. True adaptability is to throw oneself completely into whatever situation presents itself and to make whatever one can of it. It is not to consider what will happen when this moment is gone, but to be fully inside each moment as it arises, embracing it, listening to it, loving it, and working with it. So, whatever you’re your current circumstances may be, ask yourself: “How can I embrace this moment? What can I make of it?” Ask this of yourself as often as you can and you will be well on your way to mastering the art of adaptability. Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode 15: The Sensorium

Good morning and welcome to your fifteenth meditation. Few would contest the assertion that, of the five senses that we humans use to engage with the physical world, society tends to value sight over all others. We’re all familiar with the cliché that “seeing is believing”. And indeed, we tend to regard sight as the most authoritative sense when it comes to determining what we understand to be reality. We think that if we can see it, it’s real; and if we can’t, we tend not to be so certain. This method of determining what is and isn’t real works pretty well a lot of the time. Sight is definitely handy when driving a car, or walking down a set of stairs, or detecting the presence of cancer cells in a biopsy for example. But our high valuation of sight means that we often “overlook” (pun intended) the importance of our other senses. We can forget that these other senses are also constantly contributing to the construction of our reality, if on a less conscious level. They are affecting our mood, and shaping who we are. And if you doubt this then have a look at the natural experiments of children raised without human touch, or at people who develop eating disorders due to the loss of their sense of smell or taste. And Wikipedia enumerates a litany of afflictions associated with exposure to noise pollution including anxiety, depression, stress, heightened blood pressure, hypertension, coronary artery disease, and a heightened risk of weight gain, diabetes, and stroke, to name just a few. And this is not the sound of bombs exploding that we’re talking about. The article states that the World Health Organization has deemed the sound of traffic to be the second worst environmental stressor for humans after air pollution. So remember to check in with your other senses on a regular basis. Try to be more cognizant of what is going in your nose and mouth and ears. Try to get in touch with the sensitivity of your skin. Be scrupulous about the music you listen to. Consider how a certain piece of music will affect your mood in a certain way. Ask yourself what mood are you in the mood to be in. Make time for silence. Listen to that silence. Closing our eyes and opening our ears can allow us to connect with our environments in a way that can make us feel more grounded and present than when we observe that same environment with our somewhat overused and tired sense of sight. Think about your food as you eat it. Observe the combinations of flavours. Touch soft things. Touch each other. Touch yourself. Smell the flowers. Not only will indulging these four other senses guarantee many moments of simple pleasure in your life, which is good enough in itself; it will also contribute to your overall mental and physical health. Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode 14: We Know More than We Know We Know

Good morning and welcome to your fourteenth meditation. Have you ever heard the expression “we know more than we know we know”? Think about those words for a moment. What do you suppose they mean? We harbour vast stores of knowledge in our minds and in our bodies that we rarely consider. We tend, rather, to confine our idea of what constitutes knowledge to a very narrow set of criteria. We think it must have to do with memorizing facts and numbers; or with worldly wisdom; or perhaps the knowhow required to accomplish some specialized task. And so it must. But we often forget to count as knowledge certain highly specialized tasks that we all do: like breathing. And walking. And fighting diseases. And healing wounds. And regulating our metabolism so that we can send energy wherever it is required at exactly the moment it is required. How can we possibly know how to pull off these wonderful feats when we are scarcely even aware of doing them? It almost seems like someone else is doing it all for us, doesn’t it? But they’re not. We know how to perform these incomprehensibly complex tasks all by ourselves.

It’s a cool thought, but what good is it? How can it help us in our day to day lives? Well, to start, knowing that you have access to unfathomable depths of knowledge is a pretty good confidence booster. And so it should be! ‘Self-confidence’ is just a fancy way of saying that we trust ourselves. And if we know that we can trust our bodies to do exactly what is required of them in a given situation and to communicate important information when we need to know it, then that is self-confidence in action. The trouble is we often don’t listen to what our bodies are telling us. It is an unavoidable human trait that we use conceptual modes of thinking to define and diagnose signals that our bodies send us. This can be helpful when these concepts allow us to harness our body’s energy and use it to our benefit. But if we aren’t careful or precise enough with how we understand the messages our bodies are sending us, those messages can become obscured to our detriment. Concepts, like tools, can be very useful for certain jobs, and at best ineffective and at worst destructive for others. For example, you may feel butterflies in your stomach. This is your body sending you a message. But how you interpret that message as a concept will determine how your body processes that feeling. So if you understand the butterflies to be anxiety or fear, the outcome will be very different than if you understand them to be excitement or determination. Neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett tells about her daughter’s karate teacher who, in preparing his students for their black belt test told them to “get their butterflies flying in formation”. He could have said “I know you’re all nervous and anxious and that is normal” and his students would have interpreted the messages their bodies were sending them as a handicap that they had to overcome. But construing that sensation of excitement as a fleet of butterflies of which each student is the captain reframes the body’s message as a goad to action that can propel them to do their best.

We may not always be the best listeners when our bodies are trying to communicate something to us, but our bodies are excellent listeners. So practise telling yours encouraging things. Practise directing its incredible power and knowledge to benefit yourself and others. Try not to impose limitations on yourself. You have no idea what you’re capable of. Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode 13: Goals Made Easier

Good morning and welcome to your thirteenth meditation. When you set a goal how do you do it? Do you just tell yourself privately that you are going to do something? Do you write it down? Do you tell a friend in order to have someone to whom you’re accountable? Do you develop a timeline and a plan for carrying it out? Unsurprisingly, the more effort you put into conceiving the “how” of your goal the more likely you will be to achieve it. For some of us, all that planning and forethought can seem daunting and intimidating, sometimes so much so that we abandon our goal before we have even started pursuing it. But there’s good news! Arguably the most important part of seeing a goal through to the end requires very little forethought and planning, and it’s really just too simple to be daunting. So what is this magical goal-maker? It is regularity. Just think, if you want to learn Spanish that goal is going to seem abstract and therefore unattainable until you simply start practising Spanish every day. Your goal shifts from the amorphous “I want to learn Spanish” to the very concrete “I have to practise my Spanish today”. Rather than being a big scary life goal, it has become just another item on your daily checklist. And as you know, if you do something every day for long enough it becomes a habit and you come to miss it if it’s not there. But it’s not even necessary to think that far down the line. Whatever the activity is, just go ahead and insert it into your daily or weekly routine as the case may be and don’t worry too much about the outcome. In fact, you can even stop thinking about it as a goal at all, and just focus on each day, one at a time, unconcerned with how quickly or slowly you’re progressing or how far along you’ll be by a given date, but just relishing in the daily feeling of fulfilment and accomplishment that it brings you. This way of thinking will also help you to live more in the moment, enjoy whatever it is you are doing more, and so be happier generally.

Now, a couple tips for getting started that you may have heard before, but that bear repeating. Start small. Most of us can’t imagine opening a two hour window in our daily routine for some new activity, so don’t try it. Better to have short, focussed sessions, where you are totally engaged for the duration, even if that duration is just five minutes. Next tip: have a specific time in the day that you dedicate to this new skill. If setting a specific time each day seems too rigid to you then connect your new activity with another activity that is already part of your daily routine. For example, “I practise knitting on my lunch break”, or “I read history after brushing my teeth each night”, or “I work out after breakfast”. This way habitual activities can serve as organic reminders to you to do your new activity and also ensures that you have a space carved out in the day to do them. Remember that however long term your goals are, it is daily practice that allows you to realize them. So whatever your goal may be, you can forget it! Just focus on the activity, make it a habit, and enjoy it! Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode 12: Saying No

Good morning and welcome to your twelfth meditation. Do you have a hard time saying no? If you answered ‘yes’ to this question, you are definitely not alone. Saying no can be difficult for many different reasons, not all of which are bad. Indeed, the problem often arises from a keen sense of empathy and a desire for others to be happy. And this wonderful altruistic impulse can go uncelebrated in a world that honours individualism and tends to reward uncompromising behaviour.

Rather this kind of considerateness for the comfort and happiness of others is often regarded as weakness, lack of character, acquiescence. So if you struggle with saying no, don’t punish yourself. Instead remind yourself of what society tends to forget: your impulse to accommodate others may well come from a place of love and care. Celebrate that impulse. It is beautiful and it should be encouraged.

Now, difficulty saying no doesn’t always come from such a positive place. It can also stem from fear. Fear of confrontation, fear of incurring the wrath of others, or just fear of your own discomfort. Of course, fear motivates countless human behaviours and decisions. It is perfectly normal and, just as in the case of the altruistic impulse, should not be punished. In fact, these two apparently opposite impulses can be so bound up with one another that it is very difficult to distinguish between them. How then can we know when is the right time to say no, and when that time comes, how do we make that action easier for ourselves? One of the best ways to ensure that you are saying no when you need to is to give yourself time. Time to consider your feelings on the subject, and to decide what is important to you. Often all that’s required to give yourself the time to ponder is a simple “let me get back to you on that”. Don’t avoid the question because that will likely only heighten your discomfort. Take a second. If the question was posed in-person in real time, excuse yourself for a moment. Be with the problem. Breathe. Consider what you want. Consider how much the other person needs you to do what they are asking of you. The answer will usually come to you fairly quickly. Now make up your mind to stick with that answer. The more conviction you are able to muster the less likely you are to waver when you have to confront the person who is asking something of you. Also the more you exude conviction the more you project to yourself and the other party that the decision you’ve made is obvious and so incontestable. The truth is that we often put far more pressure on ourselves in these situations than whatever pressure is coming from outside. If you deliver your answer clearly with conviction it is rare that anyone will be hurt or offended by your refusal. So be sure to take the time you require to make your own decision concerning any request of you that gives you pause or makes you uncomfortable. If you don’t give yourself that time, and you are the type of person who tends to accommodate others, you risk having all your decisions made for you, and that means living according to values that are not your own, and very possibly being unhappy as a result.

You will slip up. You will respond to requests automatically now and then and find yourself in situations you’d rather not be in. No worries. It happens! And sometimes we simply have less control over a situation than others. Just keep trying your best to make every response a conscious and genuine one and you will start to minimize those uncomfortable situations. Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode 11: Proud Enough to Learn

Good morning and welcome to your eleventh meditation. How many times have you told yourself you’d like to learn another language, or take up piano? Most of us fantasize about learning new skills, yet never seem to get around to doing it. Many of us start, but feel discouraged when it doesn’t come easily. We rationalize that it’s too late. That maybe we could have been good if we had started when we were young, but what’s the use now? That only children are truly capable of learning new skills. But consider for a moment three important differences between how children learn and how adults learn. The first is time. Adults often struggle to fit new things into our already busy schedules. And even if we do fit a new activity in here and there, it can be difficult to integrate into our already-established routine. Children, on the other hand, go to school every day for many of the new skills they learn. And their schedules tend to be more malleable than ours so that if they really want to learn something new, they are perfectly willing to clear all other appointments to do so. Second, children are happy to learn very simple bits of information. They are proud of small successes and that makes the learning process fun and gratifying for them. Adults tend to be less satisfied with tiny achievements. Rather we too often expect ourselves to be really good at a new skill after a really short learning period and so set ourselves up for discouragement and failure. And these unrealistic expectations lead to the third, and perhaps most important, main difference between how adults and children learn: Inhibition. Since adults tend to feel embarrassed by doing something badly we often shy away from making the mistakes necessary to improve. We focus on what we’re doing wrong and feel discouraged. We tell ourselves and others that we’re dabbling at this new skill. We say that we’re not any good. Now look at children learning something new. They completely butcher it and they don’t care one bit. More likely they’re proud of what they’ve done. Because they acknowledge that they’ve done something that they have never done before. When a child paints they are not comparing their painting to the whole history of art. They’ve never seen any of it so why would they care? They are simply, purely excited to be learning a new skill. So if you’re learning a new language, don’t compare your skill level to native speakers of that language. They have been practising that skill every day, all day for years. And don’t compare yourself to another learner either. Everyone learns differently and what’s important is that, like the child, you are proud of every new thing you learn! This pride will ensure that you enjoy the learning process and will keep you from ever wanting to quit. It’s never too late to learn. So whatever you are learning, keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode 10: Get Outside

Good morning and welcome to your tenth meditation. How much time do you spend outside? Do you make a point to get out every day or is it just something you do now and then. Or maybe you typically only leave the house if something demands it, like work, or exercise, or taking a class. Amid all the busyness of life, amid all the things that constantly need doing, it can feel hard, or even pointless, to dedicate that precious time to such an apparently non-productive activity as simply being outside. But the busier you are, the more important it is that you take break. A break from work, a break from that rhythm of living, and even a break from yourself. That’s right, a break from yourself. Because going outside isn’t just going out of doors; it can also be going outside of the confines of what you understand your life to be. Just think, we generally try to infuse our homes with as much of ourselves as we are able. We position things in a certain way that suits us, we decorate to our tastes. Home is where we typically keep our collections of objects that we identify with like books or records, or makeup. We try our best to make it a place of comfort, and in doing so it becomes a space that reflects who we are. This is all good. It is a wonderful privilege to have a space that we can tailor to our own needs and preferences. You could even say that constructing your home is a kind of identity formation in itself. However homes, when compared with the scope of the human psyche, tend to be relatively limited and static spaces. So that if we identify too much with our home, that same place into which we have poured so much love can feel restrictive or even oppressive. Going outside exposes us to a world that is open, unbounded by our own tastes and sense of ownership. It is to enter a space that does not represent your perceived successes and failures. Outside is blissfully indifferent. When you feel overwhelmed by what is going on in your life or by what you read in the news, or on social media; when you feel that these things are all that the world is comprised of, what better remedy than to sit and observe a tree. To admire its indifference to all that consumes you. To watch the birds in it flitting and clamouring, with agendas completely apart and unrelated to our own. To watch its leaves receive the breeze, to listen to the sound they make as they flap with some discreet purpose. To see its branches reaching out toward its neighbouring trees in silent discourse. To think how trees have done this same slow dance since long before there ever were humans to feel overwhelmed. In this way being outside can offer perspective. But more than this, it can also offer some well-deserved, simple, sensual pleasure. So look at the tree, listen to the rustle of its leaves, feel the sun on your face and bask in it all. It is beautiful, and you are a part of it. Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode 9: If You Can’t Be With The Ones You Love

Good morning and welcome to your ninth meditation. We’ve all been placed in the unique position lately of having to isolate from others in order to protect them and ourselves. For some this has been a welcome reprieve from a normally busy social life – a chance to slow down, to look inward, and to reflect on what we really want in life. But for a huge number of people this opportunity for reflection feels more like a prison sentence in solitary confinement. For those of us who feel this way, perhaps the everyday current suited us just fine. Perhaps being surrounded by friends and bustle was just what we needed to maintain a healthy psyche. If you are one of these people, you have almost certainly endured a shock in these past months. You have been stripped suddenly of something so fundamental to your identity: your way of being in the world. You have lived your whole life as an extrovert, and deep in your mind and body you’ve learned those pathways. It’s even likely that you’re comprised of genetic material that has made you that way. And now you are suddenly being told that you have to live differently, that you have to be different. You’re a social butterfly but are now suddenly expected to be a lone wolf? It isn’t a fair or even a realistic demand. So don’t try it. You’ll only become more frustrated. Rather, be resourceful. Figure out ways that you can still flap your social wings while remaining apart from the pack. They are not hard to come by. We live in an age where we not only can call our friends from the comfort of our homes, we can see a live video of them while we chat. We can be engaged in text conversations throughout the day with multiple people. We can share pictures of ourselves or songs or jokes and see people’s reactions. Of course none of these are an exact substitute for in-person social interaction. But it’s social interaction none-the-less. It’s just a different breed of it with its advantages and disadvantages just as in-person social interaction has its advantages and disadvantages. Yes, among those of us who live alone most of us miss physical contact. So what should you do? Touch yourself! Rub your arms, touch your legs, stroke your belly, give yourself a foot massage! Of course it’s not the same as another person’s touch, but it’s something. It’s self love, it’s pleasurable, and we all need to find a dose of pleasure wherever we can right now. So be open to it. Just because certain doors have been closed to us right now, doesn’t mean that we have to close the others on ourselves. Be careful not to exaggerate what is demanded of you out of an overblown sense of duty. Not only will this increase your feeling of frustration and powerlessness, it can also make you bitter toward others who may not be following protocols as scrupulously as you believe yourself to be. If you are supposed to stay apart, stay apart. But if it’s still possible to see a friend or two outside and from a distance, then go ahead and do that. It’s not an easy time right now. But while we all work together to protect each other, let’s make sure we are fulfilling our own needs as much as possible. Be kind to yourself. The world is in a muddle due to forces beyond our control. All you can do is try your best to navigate it. Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode 8: Playing Solitaire

Good morning and welcome to your eighth meditation. Our social relationships are a fundamental part of all our lives. Whether they are with family, friends, colleagues, lovers, or acquaintances, we depend on these connections for plenty of practical concerns as well as for the maintenance of our emotional well-being. The acquisition of food, shelter, clothing, and money generally all require at least some minimal social interaction. And how indispensable to human life are shared moments of joy and laughter and sadness, of warmth and emotional support, of love!

But we humans are not simply social animals. We have another side that requires respect and attention. This is the side of us that is solitary, introspective, reflective, and quiet. Some of us need to dedicate more time to this side than others, and that is a perfectly natural fact and should incur no judgment. Unfortunately, however, society tends to look down on solitude. We are all indoctrinated to a certain degree to believe that there is something wrong or defective in the need for it. And this kind of makes sense if you think about it. The word society comes from the same root as social. Society’s very existence depends on people working, living, being together. But our human needs are not strictly confined to the needs of the group as would appear to be the case with bees or ants. We are individuals who require time apart. So respect this non-social need in yourself. And likewise respect it in others. Talk about it. A great way to destigmatize something is simply to talk openly about it. There will be friends who will misunderstand your need. They may feel hurt by it, interpreting your desire for solitude as a negative. They may say, “Why don’t you want to hang out with me? Why are you ignoring me?”. But imagine the reverse scenario where you are excited to see those same friends. When you ask them to get together nobody would ever say, “Why don’t you want to be alone? Why are you ignoring yourself?”. Yet both tendencies – to want to be social and to want to be solitary – are equally natural and valid. It’s not easy to overcome the judgment of loved ones and of society in general. Our own self-care sometimes requires that others are momentarily disappointed or even upset with us. But they will get over it. Especially if they truly care about you, they’ll get over it. And you will be happier and healthier and a better family member, friend, colleague, lover, or member of your community because of it. So take the time you need for yourself. You won’t regret it.

Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode 7: Affirm Each Other

Good morning and welcome to your seventh meditation. Have you ever felt underappreciated? Taken for granted? It can be hard enough to feel convinced of our own value even when we are showered with affection and praise from others, but when that positive reinforcement from the outside is absent, the task of valuing oneself can seem impossible. The truth is, we need acknowledgement all of us. It is our affirmation from the world that we exist. It tells us that we are human, linked to other humans in a tie that is fundamental to life as we know it, social animals that we are. We cannot, however, simply expect this acknowledgement to come of its own accord. Rather we have to offer the world whatever we can in order to earn its recognition. So instead of asking yourself “What can I do to garner praise?”, consider asking “What do I have to give that could make people happier?”. This could be a skill or talent, it could be a service, it could be money, it could be emotional support or simply kindness. Remember that as social beings we don’t only rely on others for recognition, they rely on us. However often you may doubt it, you have inherent value simply by virtue of the fact that you have the ability to offer someone else the recognition that we all so require. By doing what you can to make others happier you are offering them affirmation of their humanness, of their connectedness. But this act is also affirming for you since the very happiness you give them is a testament to your value.

Now, it is important to keep in mind that it is possible to overextend yourself, to live too much strictly in the service of others while ignoring your own needs. And it is also important to acknowledge if you are in a situation where you truly are being taken for granted. Often it is not the result of any ill-intent, rather of the other person or people being too distracted, or caught up in their own concerns to show the appreciation that they really do feel for you. Only by acknowledging the problem yourself, can you then bring it to their attention and usually avoid what could otherwise be a drawn-out and harmful saga of projection and resentment. If after broaching it the problem persists, this is perhaps a sign that it’s time to reassess how integral that relationship is to you. So think, are you receiving the appreciation and acknowledgement that is your due? But equally important, are you showing others the respect and recognition that they too deserve? If you already ask yourself these questions on a regular basis, fantastic! If not, don’t worry. By listening to this podcast you have already started too! Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day!

Episode 6: Compared to What?

Good morning and welcome to your sixth meditation. You are beautiful. You are smart. You are talented. You have been successful before and have the capacity to continue being so. You are valuable. It doesn’t matter who you are. It’s true. There are simply too many ways to embody each of these abstract concepts for it not to be true. Yet we have a tendency to forget this and instead hold up just one version of beauty, say, as the ultimate and absolute version. And when we don’t fit into that mould nicely, it can cause us a lot of difficulty and even grief. And it doesn’t help that social media is constantly showing us highly edited and so fragmentary and unrealistic depictions of what we should supposedly aspire to be. If you’ve fallen a victim to holding yourself up to these unreasonable standards, don’t fret. We can’t help but compare ourselves to others in this way. It’s perfectly normal and we all do it. But consider that ideas of what it means to be beautiful, intelligent, talented, successful, and valuable change from age to age, from culture to culture. There is no fixed ideal for any of them. Rather notions of each of these abstract concepts can shift so much over time that they become their opposite. These changing ideologies can lead to revolutions in art, science, religion, laws, and social mores. But what does all that mean for you personally? It means that whatever quality you covet in another person could be considered base or even reprehensible in another culture. It means that whatever you think is undesirable about yourself now could in twenty years be prized as a great virtue. So be careful with judging yourself. To do so is often to stifle those very qualities in you that make you beautiful and smart, and so on, in your own unique way. There is a wonderful story of a famous singer who is said to have deliberately accentuated all of the qualities of his singing that his critics decried and thereby founded a new vocal style that others now imitate. So perhaps it’s time you began viewing as strengths what you perceive to be your weaknesses. Of course this does not mean you should quit trying to be better. On the contrary, appreciating and loving all that you are only positions you favourably to realize all that you can be.

So be proud of your type of beauty. Cherish your unique brand of intelligence. Relish your talents. Delight in your successes. And acknowledge your value. You embody all of these qualities in your own way, which makes them all the more special. Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day!

Episode 5: The River: Pause and Reflect

Goodmorning and welcome to your fifth meditation. How great that you are here, taking the time out of your day to dedicate to yourself. To slow down for a moment. To take a step back from the rushing current of life to reflect and consider how to always be becoming the best version of yourself. That’s right: always be becoming. Because we are always changing and evolving in a constant process of formation, along with the world around us. The current never stops; we don’t finally reach land. Rather we learn to navigate that current better. But it is so easy to simply be swept up by it, so that we feel that we are completely at its mercy. This is why taking these moments to pause and reflect is so important. Let’s take this analogy of the current one step further. Close your eyes. Inhale. Exhale. Now imagine a rushing river through a rocky mountain pass. This is life. It is beautiful and dangerous, tranquil and turbulent. Now picture yourself in that river. What do you do? Do you thrash and fight the current blindly all the while expending all your energy so that these efforts become more and more difficult and costly? Or do you let the current take you so that you are able to calmly observe and appreciate all the beauty and danger in your midst. So that you only require a minimal expenditure of energy to avoid oncoming catastrophes and to direct yourself toward the safer, serener, and more splendid parts of the river. Sometimes we become convinced that the harder we work the more we will achieve or the happier we’ll be. We are unwilling to spare a moment to reflect because it is a moment that could be used to work toward our goals. But by regularly taking time to observe ourselves vis-à-vis our environments we become able to make conscious decisions that are motivated by an awareness of that environment and of our own needs within it. We no long simply react, but proact, which often leads us to a more favourable position from which future decisions become easier to make. We can never control the course of the river, but we can certainly direct ourselves within its current.

So don’t forget to pause. To reflect. It is so important. Some excellent ways to do this include reading, writing, making lists, and meditating. And of course, you’ve done it once today already by listening to this podcast. Way to go! Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode 4: Value Your Uniqueness

Good morning and welcome to your fourth meditation. How do you feel? How do you feel aboutyourself? Perhaps you feel really good, ready and excited to take on the day, like you could do anything you set your mind to. If so, that’s great! Maybe you feel anxious and paralyzed by the impending day, full of the knowledge of the things you should do, but empty of motivation, confidence, self-worth. Sometimes we think anything we might want to do someone else could do better. What’s the point? Why bother? Weall feel this way at one time or another. Whatever your answer was, that’s how you feel, it’s important to observe, and it’s ok to feel that way. Now, to complement that deeply subjective feeling, here is an objective fact: there is no one quite like you. No one can do just what you do exactly how you do it. We have a tendency to identify completely with the moulds the world hands us such as doctor, business owner, musician, mother, athlete, and so on. And if we see others who are more successful than us in these roles then we feel less valuable as people. But remember that we are not simple beings that are defined by one action. We are composed of an unfathomably rich network of experience, skill sets, personality traits, and genetic material. No one, not your boss, not your lifelong best friend, not your twin sibling, is composed of the same stuff as you are. Take a second to appreciate that, your utter singularity: Inhale. Exhale. This uniqueness is of incalculable value because it means that you have something to contribute to the world that no one else can. The world wants it! So offer it up in abundance. Be generous with it. And be generous with yourself. Say kind words to yourself and regularly remind yourself of your unique value. Be careful with self-deprecating attitudes, even if they’re jokes. It is very easy to internalize these jokes and so limit our potential. You are special. You are! Embrace that fact. Love it. And let yourself be all the things that make you who you are to the fullest! Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode 3: Do the Thing

Good morning and welcome to your third meditation. You did it! You thought that perhaps this podcast could help you relax, or feel a little better about yourself, or offer you some tips on how to be the best version of yourself. You had that thought and now you are following through on it. That is fantastic! Way to go! Unfortunately, the truth is that seeing things through can often be really hard. There are so many obstacles in our lives that can distract and discourage us from even setting healthy goals, let alone seeing them through to completion. And at the centre of this flurry of obstacles that we constantly encounter in the world around us there resides perhaps the most persistent and potentially most damaging one of all: our own self-doubt. This self-doubt can consist of other people’s judgements that we’ve internalized, or our own judgements of other people that accidentally get redirected back at us, or fear-based rationalizations of why not to do something that in truth we would like to do. It can seem impossible to escape these obstructive ways of thinking. They are inside us after all and so tend to follow us wherever we go. But there’s good news! Ever-present as your self-doubt may seem, there’s a simple way to quieten it. And that is to just do the thing that you are aspiring to do. You’ve heard it before, but it bears repeating because those doubting inner voices have become so good at talking over and around its simple common sense. Sure, sometimes starting can be difficult because that is just the time when those negative voices can be loudest. But just do it anyway. Ignore those voices. So long as you’re not harming anyone by doing it, if you truly want something, that is justification enough. So go ahead! Get started. Right away! And you will likely see that in the doing you’ll derive pleasure, and pleasure will lead to focus, and focus will lead to productivity, and productivity to a feeling of accomplishment. And typically the more occupied you become by the task at hand in this way, the more you will forget to doubt that you can do it. So whatever it is, do it! You can! Of course you can! All you have to do is start, and there has never been a better time than now to start. You wanted to listen to this podcast because you thought it might help you. And you did! You did it! Congratulations! Keep it up. You’re doing great. Now what’s next? Have a wonderful day.

Episode 2: Own Your Feelings

Good morning and welcome to your second meditation. You’re here. Despite everything you’re here. There are so many variables in our lives that we cannot control and at times it can make us feel completely powerless. But you are here. We can feel overwhelmed by everything that is thrown at us, things we never would have chosen to take on, and we can feel disturbed by the sensation that we are merely the passive recipients of our lives. And sometimes it can even seem like the world is conspiring against us. This can be really hard. And it’s ok to feel frustrated, or angry, or anxious, or to think it unfair that you should suffer so much. Don’t judge yourself. This is how you feel, and it’s important to let yourself feel it. Take a second to allow yourself to feel more fully whatever it is you’re feeling right now. Inhale. Exhale. Maybe you feel great, in which case relish that feeling. Delight in it. Maybe things have not been going so well and you’re feeling downtrodden. Breathe. Whatever it is that you feel, own it. It is yours. It is an expression of you and so is self-affirming and empowering. Remember, taking control of your life is not some daunting, gargantuan act of heroism, but a series of small, simple, and regular actions that help to make manageable all of the unpredictable challenges that life thrusts on us. Acts like making checklists, keeping schedules for yourself, and carving out some time each day dedicated to deliberately processing how you feel. You’re here. You made the effort. By listening to this podcast you have taken an important step toward attaining the feeling of control and agency that you are seeking in your life. Congratulations. Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.

Episode 1: An Act of Self-Love

Good morning and welcome to your first meditation. You got up, you got out of bed, and you put on this podcast because you care about yourself and you’re doing your best to give yourself what you need to succeed in that self-care. Whatever may have happened yesterday or last week or last year has no bearing on the fact that you made the effort today. And although the day is young, you have already achieved one of the most important acts that you can accomplish: an act of self-love. Congratulations. Take a second to appreciate this. Breathe it in. Be proud. Even if it seems trivial, be proud. These seemingly small daily actions add up to a lifetime of inner peace and happiness. Life is a constant process of becoming. We may realize a goal only to find out that it wasn’t what we really wanted. Or we may have done things that we discover moved us further away from a goal. This is all good. These are some of the experiences that help us most to see who we wish to be and what we wish to accomplish and they are invaluable. Take a second to think on mistakes you’ve made. Inhale. Exhale. Now thank yourself for having made those mistakes. They are what led you here. Without them there is nothing to improve upon, no basis on which to develop self-awareness, no aspiration, motivation, or anything else that drives human life. Be grateful for your mistakes and acknowledge that every new day is a new opportunity to be a little bit better, whatever that means to you. Today you have already seized that opportunity once by listening to this. Keep it up. You’re doing great. Have a wonderful day.